Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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