every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
