This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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