you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
