Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
