I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
