Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I need help removing her.
I need to stop coming to work sober
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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