Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
