cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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