Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
