there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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