Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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