To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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