You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
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I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
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I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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