Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
