I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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