"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
