I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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