it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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