I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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