I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
