My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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