I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
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She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
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If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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