Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize