I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Help. Why am I so naked?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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