Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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