i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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