I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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