She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
