I just saw a hot homeless man
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
whose parrot is this?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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