i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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