I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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