Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
