TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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