Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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