all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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