fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize