I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I came so hard my ears popped.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
