real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Randomize
