Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Your dad touched me again.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
