sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
