god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
