Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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