end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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