I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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