when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
