plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
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I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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