yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize