Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
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I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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