She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
