When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
