Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
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Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.