my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.