Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my being single is dangerous.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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