I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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