A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
